The Power of Words

Words are powerful. When used in conversation or in a letter, they express emotion or deep feelings. With them you can support and encourage, express love and affection, show gratitude and appreciation as you offer genuine thanks. Words can describe beauty and offer praise. They can build someone up and provide hope. Words can bring a smile or a tear as memories from days past are brought to mind. They can bring laughter through stories or real-life situations. Words can be warm and comforting.

Words can also create negative emotions. They can bring discouragement and despair. They can tear another down and shatter the heart. They can hurt and destroy. When expressing anger or disappointment, words can leave another feeling broken and defeated. Taken to the extreme, words repeatedly thrown carelessly or with evil intent can bring destruction upon another.

"No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My friends, these things ought not be so." (James 3:8-10)

A few months ago I received a letter from someone close to me that left me wounded. Without giving the person's name or gender, I'll refer to this person as Pat. Pat had obvious expectations at a recent gathering and I had disappointed Pat. It didn't matter that I had brought a gift for Pat to recognize a special occasion. It seemed forgotten that as Pat was opening my gift there was one negative comment after another as each piece of the gift was revealed. I personally felt nit-picked by Pat over the entire 2-day gathering with suble comments that were uncalled for. So I was surprised when I got home to receive a thank-you note for the gift, followed immediately by a scathing letter of disapproval and shame.

The letter created stinging tears of unbelief as disappointments over the years were revealed. It wasn't the first time I had heard it. This happened before and I responded then with a letter explaining some very difficult years I had been through that were unknown to those closest to me. The honesty and vulnerability brought the healing I hoped for -- yet the recent letter proved that things were no different.

Much in the letter wasn't even true. Pat seemed to pull things out of the air and create things that were assumed rather than checking facts. Instead of writing about the specific disappointments at the gathering, things were brought up from many years ago. Even as I read between the lines of hurt and anger and feelings of disappointment in Pat's life, I felt the sting of words that were intended to hurt me. I felt stabbed in the back by someone with whom I was supposed to be close. I didn't understand why I had received such a letter and why such hatred was spilling from the page. I searched over each detail of the weekend as to what would trigger this reaction.

At the same time, I realize that while the details in the letter weren't accurate, it was Pat's perception of the weekend. That thought alone was enough to make me examine my actions to see where I might have brought discord, and I know that my reaction to Pat's constant nit-picking were less than kind. Still, no one deserves to receive such a scathing letter of sheer disapproval and shame. After many tears shed and prayers for guidance as to how to respond, I felt God saying that the best response was no response.

Now, many months later, the occasional thought of the letter still brings a quick jab to my heart and I am saddened by the discord between us. I do pray daily for Pat and for healing in our relationship. I hope someday to have a face-to-face conversation to bring things into the open and be able to get to the core of the problem. In the meantime, I have become more aware of the word, Grace. I look at my own life and see how far I have fallen short of God's glory (Romans 3:23), and yet the Amazing Grace He shows to me every day. My prayer every morning now is that I will show that grace to others.

"Why do you look at the speck in your friend's eye and pay no attention to the log in your own eye? . . . first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your friend's eye." (Matthew 7:3-5)

A friend of mine said that her father taught her from a young age to have her words go through three doors: 1) Are they true? 2) Are they necessary? 3) Are they kind?

Words . . . they can tear down or they can build up. They can discourage or they can encourage. Use them wisely. Every word spoken to another reaches the heart of God.

"We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. For even Christ didn't live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, 'The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.'" (Romans 15:2-3)

"Therefore, encourage one another and build each other us, just as you are doing."
(1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Trapped in a Mini-Flood

When I'm at work during the week I like to go to my car for lunch, away from the chatter of our break room. I park under some trees that offer shade during the hot summer months and a quiet place to read. It wasn't always possible this week with the relentless rains, but yesterday, after another heavy downpour, the sky brightened and it looked like it would be nice for the hour I would be on my lunch break. As I was sitting in my car, eating my lunch and reading as usual, the heavens opened and another deluge hit, pounding my car and quickly filling the street. I enjoyed watching the scene as huge raindrops hit the pavement in a drenching rain. I imagined myself curled up on a sofa in front of a warm fireplace, sipping hot chocolate and listening to the downpour outside. I love days like this!

But reality returned and it was time to go back to work, so I went to start my car and . . . nothing. It wouldn't even turn over -- my battery was dead. I thought about walking back to work since I was just across the street, and calling AAA to start my battery at the end of the day. But I soon realized I was surrounded by water! The rain had filled the street with water to the top of the curb -- about 8" deep. I was trapped in a mini-flood! I called AAA right away and just had to wait it out. So I went back to reading and decided to enjoy the extra time. By the time AAA got there 40 minutes later, the rain had stopped and the water receded enough that I could now get out. As for my battery? I had them put in a new one!

The picture was taken by our maintenance manager who was amazed at the sudden flooding in the street and around our Department of Education campus. Yes, that is my car you see up the street, and although it doesn't capture the full extent of how deep the water was, you can at least get a glimpse of it. I saw him taking the picture, but he had no idea I was trapped in my own car! What an adventure!

Trip to Denver

We just returned from a week in Denver where we visited my parents and my brother and his wife, Skip & Lois. It was a beautiful day when we arrived last Tuesday. Then we had heavy snow that blanketed the area -- it was fun walking in the falling snow but challenging driving in it! The days following warmed up to the 40's and it was delightful! I had dinner with my friend, Ginna. We were able to visit with my son-in-law's sister, Mindy, who just returned from Bulgaria after 2 years in the Peace Corps. We also visited other residents in the retirement village where my parents live -- friends I have come to know in recent years, including one recently widowed. It's always an enjoyable visit. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for the wonderful accommodations and the treasured time together! We love you!

A Beginning

At last, I'm starting this new year with my own blog! My grandchildren seem to think I need to get into the 21st Century so I can keep up with them. Not sure how long I'll keep it up, but it's a start. Let me know what you think. Happy New Year to all!